The Play
[A description of the stage. Atmospheric adjectives applied to colors
and shapes. Vague sketches of furniture or props.]
Character 1: Random exclamation!
Character 2 [Stage directions regarding reaction to exclamation]:
Question or comment, either in response to exclamation or not.
Character 1: Denial, or reinforcement. Remarks whose effect are
to start outlining the character, though important facts are held back.
Humorous anecdote seemingly unrelated to any dialog so far.
Character 2 [Specification of body movement not necessarily compatible
with humorous anecdote]: Ambiguously distracting but thoughtful
story.
Character 1 [Directions to perform some action]
Character 2: Question subtly, perhaps accidentally, probing the
ambiguities previously set up.
Character 1: Emotional outpouring in a raised voice. Dramatic
tension! Revelation of important facts.
Character 2 [Relevant stage direction, perhaps involving physical
contact]: Stirring synthesis of contradictory elements. Surprising
conclusion.
[Curtain]
Short Story
Clever but puzzling opening sentence. Tedious chain of events not obviously
related to opening sentence. Tenuous but compelling metaphors that might
connect with one or the other. Dialog between characters trapped in the
setting. Description of events that may be related to the characters.
Observations by the author.
The Joke
Did you hear about the object or activity? Yeah! Have you been following
this? The object or activity is involved in a circumstance that seems odd.
No, really! Now here's what I don't understand. Foolish, possibly homonymic,
interpretation of object or activity.
That's what I heard!
A Weblog
Events clearly regarded as important by the author but that seem utterly
trivial or obscure to you.
Blind links.
References to previous
entries that you never read.
Chatty references to weblogs
that you wouldn't read even if they paid you.
Pretentious references to Web
design gurus or literary
figures.
Complaints about things
that you don't care about.
Desperate attempts at humor, followed by unconvincing apologies.
Haiku
Five syllable line
Opposition in seven
Synthesis in five
Free Verse
Words as if
prose? Arrangement
cryptic, nonrhymesense
meterless. A glimpse of
imagery, as through darkened glass.
Limerick (I)
Five lines with an anapest beat,
Three, three, two, two, three in the feet.
The rhyme scheme, as you see
Is bee bee ay ay bee,
And the last is the punchline, which makes the whole thing funny.
Limerick (II)
There once was a plain theme erected
With which a small quirk intersected
Then quick exposition
of a connecting condition
That leads to a twist unexpected!
Limerick (III)
There once was an X from place B
That satisfied predicate P
He or she did thing A
In an adjective way
Resulting in circumstance C
Political Speech
Self-deprecating joke.
(pause for polite laughter.)
...children ...community ...working men and women ....children ...families
...American Dream ...parallel construction with punch!
(pause for polite applause.)
Stirring exemplary tale about a heroic constituent.
(point out constituent in audience, pause for polite applause.)
My opponent ...ruination ...questionable ethics ...unresponsive ...the
backing of Big Something ...doesn't represent the interests of the American
people!
(pause for wild applause.)
Together ...spirit of accomplishment ...community ...children ...prosperity
...opportunity ...in America once again!
(pause for applause.)
Quote from someone famous that makes everyone feel good inside.
(raise hands to applause. Wave and smile.)
Title
Of The Song
by DaVinci's Notebook
Declaration of my feelings for you
Elaboration on those feelings
Description of how long these feelings have existed
Belief that no one else could feel the same as I
Reminiscence of the pleasant times we shared
And our relationship's perfection
Recounting of the steps that led to our love's dissolution
Mostly involving my unfaithfulness and lies
Penitent admission of wrongdoing
Discovery of the depth of my affection
Regret over the lateness of my epiphany
(Chorus)
Title of the song
Naïve expression of love
Reluctance to accept that you are gone
Request to turn back time
And rectify my wrongs
Repetition of the title of the song
Enumeration of my various transgressive actions
Of insufficient motivation
Realization that these actions led to your departure
And my resultant lack of sleep and appetite
Renunciation of my past insensitive behavior
Promise of my reformation
Reassurance that you still are foremost in my thoughts now
Need for instructions how to gain your trust again
Request for reconciliation
Listing of the numerous tasks that I'd perform
Of physical and emotional compensation
CHORUS
Acknowledgment that I acted foolishly
Increasingly desperate pleas for your return
Sorrow for my infidelity
Vain hope that my sins are forgivable
Appeal for one more opportunity
Drop to my knees to elicit crowd response
Prayers to my chosen deity
Modulation and I hold a high note...
CHORUS
[Also see the incredible
video!]
Lightbulb Joke
Q: How many <tt>$WHATEVER</tt> does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One (1).
Movie Trailer
From rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc.
<music: CARMINA BURANA or themes from MILLER'S CROSSING / stark
individual shots, seperated by black, with each phrase of the NARRATOR>
NARRATOR:
"In a noun . . .
. . . participled by descriptive noun . . .
. . . one gender-specific noun . . .
. . . verbed too far . . .
. . . is about to verb!"
<music swells, quick cuts of exciting actions for about a minute>
NARRATOR:
"From the job-title of Cheesy-Summer-Blockbuster-Name . . .
. . . one noun . . .
. . . one noun . . .
. . . in a noun for their nouns.
Corporate-conglomorate presents . . .
$20 million actor!
$3 million actress!
Humorous comic relief!
Beloved Old Hollywood fart!
and Award-name winner Prestige-Name as Meaningless-Character-Name in
VERBING TITLE NAME!
The only noun adjective than noun is pun-on-Title-Name!"
<credits; title card "visit www.VTNthe movie.com">
Plurp.
The blue dog
engaged in a foolish
activity often connected
with that day's Plurp.
