Stuff: Alien Food Symbols

Alien Food Symbols

It is well known that aliens are among us. Hundreds or thousands of alien races live with us here on Earth. Some are terrified refugees from evil galactic empires. Others just stopped by for a nosh.
But they share one thing in common: most terran food is poisonous to them. Think about it. Would you munch on Martian mushrooms? Or feast on some random slime pustules that you found in a swamp on Venus? Not likely! So you can't expect the Tantellians or the Pod Worms to go around ordering Number 2 from Taco Bell, now can you?
But the aliens are clever. They have developed Secret Codes that let them know what is safe for their particular race to eat. These codes are on the packages, cans and bottles that you buy daily. They are subtle, however, and you might not have noticed them.
That's why we are here. We have collected a variety of these Alien Food Symbols. Educate yourself. Educate others. Knowledge may be our only hope.

Gerber's Baby Food

This exhibit is from the lid of a Gerber's Baby Food jar. Clearly visible is a schematic drawing of a planet with a tilted axis and two small moons. Could it be Mars? There is also an unusual and mysterious mathematical formula: A/R. What could it mean? Is it part of a Jenny Craig plan for Martians?

Ruffle's Potato Chips
This package of Ruffles Potato Chips came to our attention via a contact at Delta Airlines. On the back of the package, on the lower right hand corner, there are six small, colored squares. On closer examination, some of these squares have microscopic writing in them. (See the leftmost square in the enlargement below.)
Obviously, the aliens for whom Ruffles are intended are capable of seeing colors. But they must also have amazing visual acuity, as humans cannot resolve this microscopic writing without magnification. Who knows what this writing actually means?

Even more surprising is the large symbol on the right hand side of the back. This is by far the largest and most blatant alien food symbol we have encountered. The numeral "1" on their planet surely signifies their belief in the primacy of their position in the galaxy. Clearly, these aliens (probably the Ploids) are very confident in their position on our planet!
What does the phrase on the right of the symbol mean? "Redeem by 12/31/00". Who was to be redeemed? Was this some secret deadline to which the aliens were working? And to what end?

Fritos "Corn" Chips
This package of Fritos came to us courtesy of another brave Delta Airlines employee. At first glance, there do not appear to be any alien food symbols at all. But that alone should make us suspicious. Surely Fritos were not developed for human consumption! And indeed, that is correct.
Look closely at the small, seemingly black square in the middle of the package's back. This is not some innocent part of the package! We believe it is a sophisticated tag that can only be viewed in the infra-red wavelengths, outside of the realm that humans can see. This race of aliens can see things that we cannot!

Pepperidge Farm Cookies
Pepperidge Farm seems to be in the business of taking perfectly good cookie recipes and churning out dull and tasteless replacements. Interesting, isn't it, that they put chess pieces on these packages? Is this wry acquiencense to the grand game that the aliens are playing?
On the front of the package, towards the bottom, just next to the net weight, is a curious symbol. You might think that part of it is merely a marking indicating that these cookies are Kosher. Turn it sideways, however, and it portrays a huge alien ship hovering over a planet - perhaps our own? Is the symbol of a magnet inside the planet somehow important to these aliens?

Hellmann's Mustard

Mustard is a very simple thing to make. You take mustard seeds, mash them up, and add some vinegar. Look at all of the other ingredients in this small package of Hellmann's Mustard! We hope it is obvious by now what this implies.
Now look at the symbol on the lower right of the package. This might represent a planet with dual rings, or some interstellar event that is important to this alien race. But it turns out to be more than that, and the clue comes in the writing to the symbol's left: BLUE RIBBON DEVICE [is a] registered trademark ... of Bestfoods.
This Blue Ribbon Device is some advanced alien technology - perhaps a teleportation device - and Bestfoods knows all about it! Are they already in league with the aliens?

Salt and Pepper
What could be more innocent than the individual packages of salt and pepper they give you with your meal on airline flights? Or more ominous?

You might think it is simple salt, a necessary part of a human diet. But you would be wrong. Yes, it contains salt, but the makers of this small packet admit that it also contains:

Sodium silicoaluminate

Dextrose

Potassium iodide

Sodium carbonate

We can only hope that the alien race that recognizes this symbol finds an airline treat acceptable to its strange pallet.

Snack Mix
Tell the truth. Didn't you always wonder about the origin of that strange "Snack Mix", a combination of all of the oddly shaped and (if you read the ingredients list) oddly constituted things you could imagine? Well, wonder no longer.

We recognize the tell-tale symbology of The Others in this close-up of the obscure lower left part of the back of the package. Is this the feeding position of a snake-like race? Or perhaps the throne of a race that presumes to rule the galaxy?
And what about this?

Do you remember this from Ruffle's Potato Chips? Or rather, something like it? We suspect this is a standard message, in some vocabulary that we have not yet penetrated, to an alien race that we have not yet identified. Perhaps they have food restrictions within their own race that we have not yet understood? This might be a clue we can use to combat their insidious plot.

Hula Hoops
A British company, perhaps already in the service of the aliens, produces a food-like product called Hula Hoops. Slyly, they use reflective packaging to obscure their alliance with The Others.

Under advanced digital enhancement supplied by our sources, a terrifying image emerges, showing subservient humans feeding this dominating race of aliens, their huge mouths presumably leading to even larger subterranean bodies.
Clearly, their slaves are feeding them packets of "Hula Hoops".

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
Why is it that the aliens hide their hideous needs amongst our most treasured cultural institutions? Are they mocking us?
"A taste above", this says. Above what, exactly?

And how much more obvious can they be than their use of this symbol on the front of the package?
Does this indicate a race of beings that come from a distant star through a portal, a portal that is beyond our meager scientific means?
Or is it their star in the middle of the gravestone of humanity?

Wireless LAN Snack
We fear that it is worse than we thought. What we thought was restricted to certain packaged foodstuffs is not.
We came to this horrifying realization recently as our attention was drawn to the back of the very PC/MCIA card that we use for wireless Ethernet access.
Do you see? Do you see, now?
This alien race can only survive on Earth in helmeted suits that immerse them in their own, human-corrosive atmosphere.
And here? Dare we suggest a mating ritual? We will say no more.

And here. Is this not obviously the head and the body of an alien race, perhaps even a humanoid race, seen through the sacred triangular window of their vessel? How many of you have already seen them here?

Power Supply
Our subsequent examination of other electronic components revealed even more horrifying truths.
Have you ever wondered why they call the electrical adapter for your laptop computer a power supply, when it is not the source of electrical power for your laptop at all? How much more blatant can they be?

This turned out to be the mother load.
Judging from the number of alien races who are invited to dine on this particular component, the "power supply" is a veritable MRE (Meal Ready to Eat) for the galaxy at large.
We believe this to represent the spider race from Tantelos, secure in their alien lair.
What could this be but the trisexual Argulians? How obscene that they would display their mating rituals on their foodstuff.
Here we see an image of a planet - is it Earth? - with the clear indication of a magnet, a ray gun, and a symbol too small for human eyes to resolve. Isn't their aggressive intention obvious?
This complex symbol is thought to combine futuristic circuitry with mental powers. What astonishing superhuman capabilities must this alien race have?
This, one of the most enigmatic alien food symbols to date, portrays a spherical alien craft, inside of which is a mysterious protection device and an alien life form, wielding a tool that cannot be identified.
Here, an archtypical alien head (was E.T. really fiction?) is silhouetted in a moon. Our moon? Or theirs?
This seemingly simple geometric shape hides an awful truth. This alien race chooses to identify itself, not with a visual representation of itself or its craft, but with a geometric theorem. Are they flaunting their advanced mathematics? What other secrets have they discovered?
A sexual pairing or the World Trade Center? And what would that mean?
It cannot be our imagination that this is a human skull inside of a magic triangle. Is this a declaration of war, or an historic artifact of their present domination?
Our sources are unable to penetrate this parallel construction. Can we possibly understand it in time?
Does this race intend to transport itself back into space? Will they take certain of us with them? Or are they using the very power of lightning itself to subjugate us?
This is a spacecraft, or perhaps a planet (are they the same?) inside of which is a gyroscope or an electromagnet. Is this a form of propulsion? Or a method of confinement? And, if the latter, confinement of what? Or whom?
This sad, lonely alien race is one of the few who cannot be nourished by the deceptive "power supply".

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