Plurp: Now with real updates !

Bigger!

2004.03.30 : 2004.04.03

Thursday, April 1, 2004
Blab. No doubt it's the flood of new readers. What else can explain the response to yesterday's request to identify this Artifact of Unknown Purpose?

Nothing, that's what.
The sad truth is that we have been away for too long. Our readers are out of practice. The orbital mind control lasers have slipped out of calibration. In short, we have been allowing you to think for yourselves and, as could easily be anticipated, that is not working out.
We apologize. Really. We are very, very sorry about the whole, sordid mess. It's entirely our fault. To enhance our humiliation, we display, right here in public, the raw responses of our readers.
Looks like a wall hook made of solid wood with an integrated drop out cast aluminum hook to me. Why?
Very hooked S.
Do you feel our pain? This reader resorted to tracing down the site from which we lifted that image, and reading the description there. It's so sad. How are we going to tell this Treasured Reader that it is a victim of yet another Interior Design Hoax Site? They are such a plague these days; we figured everyone already knew about them. We feel so badly.
Wall hook - solid wood with integrated drop out cast aluminium hook
Tragic.
Your mystery object is obviously a coat hook!
You screw it to the wall and it folds up when not in use so you don't bump your head on it.
Ta!
Kall
We attribute this to the Jungian collective subconscious, hooked into the aforementioned Interior Design Hoax Sites. It's such a preposterous idea. That's the only way it could have infected the minds of our otherwise normal readers.
it's a fold away clothes hanging thingy, get your nice wooden coat hangers, and put them on.
-AJL
Preposterous, isn't it? But it must seem so compelling! Witness this Treasured Reader who, in warmer days, would have come to a rather different conclusion.
Hi Captain Plurp,
It sure looks to me like something you could hang your hat on. Or your bathrobe.
Your MW Correspondent
Must be the long Minnesota winters.
Fortunately, some of our readers have resisted the insistent harmonics.
That's a flacid grip unit for doing pull-ups in bed.
Yes. Good. "Flaccid." We have no idea what that means in this context, but the weird, quasi-sexual references are at least a deviation from normality, and we rejoice in that.
I'm gonna go with French "Brass Knuckles." They don't really seem functional but are aesthetically pleasing, and as the French don't really fight, it makes sense.
Excellent! Brass knuckles for those who expect their opponents to bash themselves on them. We recommend it to Dubya.
Ah, the Graves Parakeet Roost for nomadic parakeet fanciers.
Beautiful plumage, the Graves Parakeet.
Hey there, Plurp entity. Hoping this helps. I would guess (insatiably) that that thingy is:
1) a hand crusher.
2) a glass eye remover.
3) a holder for partially-used chewing gum.
4) a wall-mounted, modified jews-harp.
5) a pocket-pool stick and queue.
6) a perch for a small creature, like a cat or a canary.
7) a tool for cleaning suzy serandan's umbilicus.
8) a food launcher.
9) a creepy decorative emblem to distract snoopy visitors.
10) a grip device for securing oneself on a slippery surface and pulling oneself up from an awkward position during sexual activities, alone or otherwise.
Now here's a reader. A long-suffering reader. A warped, obsessed, mentally disturbed, worrisome reader. In short, our kind of reader!
Congratulations to all of our winners. We love you all.

Yo. Necronomicontest. Pretty much.

Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Plurp. Wow. We have so many Reader Contributions piled up, begging to see the light of day. We figure we'll let them plead a little harder. Then maybe we'll give in. Maybe.

Plurp. Last week.

helen naked pitures

iris chacon

thermobaric

imani

mia

iris chac

backstage

virtual helen naked pictures

j fred shirley harold

mouse naked pictures

Mouse!

Plurp. What's this? Do tell. 'Cause we sure don't know!

Plurp. Today, we cheat. Usually, we fill these pages with your incoming mail. Sometimes, we quote our friendly local spammists. But never have we bloated this place with our outgoing mail.
Until now.
Here are excerpts from a reply to an old college friend, who wonders what we're doing these days.
I'm a confirmed City Kid, without any doubt. New York is my favorite place in the whole world (second and third places go to London and SF). I fell in love with NYC the moment I came out of the subway after my interview at IBM in 1981, and I've been in love ever since. There are, of course, the usual urban advantages - theater, symphony, arts, architecture, food, fashion, the ability to buy anything you can think of (though the Web is rapidly taking over that function, and I do wonder about the future of "stores"), and an endless supply of interesting people. But that's not fundamentally what I love about it. What I love is the pace. You walk fast (or you get run over). It's crowded. It's noisy. Things *happen* here. Return to a neighborhood after six months and there are lots of changes. It's an organic place, and full of life. I also like the mixture of cultures, races, etc. - it's proof that all of us wildly different people really can live together in peace, and that gives me hope.
Central California? No, thanks. Mind you, I had an idyllic childhood in Santa Maria, and I have no complaints. It's a pretty place, I guess. But *lord* was I glad to get out. These days, when I get too far away from a serious city, I get itchy. I find myself gazing at the horizon, wondering how far it really is to civilization. [...]
Am I a City Snob? Oh well.
Helen dreams of me taking a teaching position at UCSB. That could happen, I suppose, but not in the foreseeable future. I'm having way too much fun doing what I'm doing and living where I'm living. I have enjoyed the closer ties to CCS in the last couple of years. [...]
(IBM Almaden, by the way, is housed in a gorgeous building. Have you ever been there? And I'm impressed with the clever people and the good projects. If only I weren't having so much fun where I am! I was, in fact, at Almaden two weeks ago for an IBM conference [that I helped organize] on the technology disruptions coming in the IT business in the next ten years. Big changes coming! Like I said - this is fun.)
I got called a while ago by a Google headhunter. That was mildly tempting, especially given the persistent IPO rumors. I think it's a cool company, and they're doing some great technology. [...] But still.
I did the startup thing (sort of) for nearly a decade as we built IBM AntiVirus from nothing into a $20M/year franchise. That was very heady, and exhausting, and exhilarating, and everything else. My group, which swelled to 50 people at its peak, both created and supported the full product line. Five platforms, a dozen national languages, with significant new technology released worldwide every three months like clockwork. That was very cool. But it was also narrow, and I think I'm more intrigued with the larger venue in which I now work. [...]
So, you know, life is interesting.
As if you care.

Plurp.
The authors gratefully acknowledge the contributions to the workshop report by: Nancy Alverado, Scott Fahlman, Charles Peck, and Steve R. White, fragments of which are given here in condensed form.
We are pleased to have been able to donate fragments of ourself for condensation.

Plurp. This is mildly cool, as doodly things go. Look at the gallery to see what people more clever than us have done.

Plurp.

Yow. Best Tag Line O' The Day.
DISCLAIMER: This e-mail is a natural product. The slight inconsistencies in spelling and grammar only enhance its distinct character and are in no way to be considered flaws or defects.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Plurp. So here's a mystery for you. We've been pretty bad about the eagles. Yet, you've been coming here in droves. In fact, this month we will have more people coming to our stupid blog than ever before. In fact, an even greater percentage of people came to our stupid blog this month than in the recent past (when some large fraction of you miscreants were looking for some dumb South Park picture, for reasons entirely beyond us).
Why is that?

Blab. On Helen's front-page piture, a reader writes:
Is that Helen with the Shopping Bag? She's famous!
You have no idea. A huge, front-page, above-and-below-the-fold piture that Helen says is "the best picture of Katie and me ever."
It was a day of superlatives.

Blab. Another reader objects.
What's the story on the Saturday picture, pal? You taking advertising? Selling red-heads on the blak market, or what?? Helen goes to Nordstom ads have to stop!!
Or what. She's not for sale. Pal.

Blab. More to the point, a reader contributes in the approved fashion.
J.P Morgan, derivatives, up-side-down pyramids. Pummel the penguin! Nice Helen picture.
Why, thank you!

Blab. On HID, a reader writes:
(sorry this is late) Wooo, Helen! My Independance Day is July 5th :)
Woo.

Blab. A familiar reader writes:
"Plurp, SIT!"
The Plurp-thing sat, unblinking, unwavering, meeting my eyes with a cold hard stare of its own.
"Plurp. Plurp Plurp Plurp Plurp SIT!"
I tried to engage it with different rhythms, volumes, tone, and accents, but still it sat unwilling.
Remembering the banana bread, I left the Plurp-thing to its own amusements in the bare concrete room and walked out the door without a glance behind me, careful to close the latch securely.
Love,
Kallese
Plurp sits down in the middle of the room, closes his eyes, and rocks back and forth, muttering, "Banana bread. Banana bread. Banana bread. Banana bread."

Blab. An insightful reader writes:
Plurping in meetings again, eh?
When meetings are your life, all your life occurs in meetings.

Plurp. From the take-out menu of a newly-opened restaurant in our neighborhood.
Italian Sub Hero
Imagine the latex.

Plop. Why do you think they call it Hooters?

Five women who say they were secretly videotaped naked or undressing while they applied for jobs at a Los Angeles area Hooters sued the restaurant chain Tuesday.
No doubt it had to do with presentation.

Top

Earlier entries Later entries