Plurp: Abnormality Is Our Goal !

Bigger!

2003.07.06 : 2003.07.12

Saturday, July 12, 2003
Blab. A compulsive reader writes:
In the case of the painful thorn, a more correct Helenism would be "a thorn in one's side".
And then, a few minutes later ...
My mistake.......should be a thorn in one's neck.
Yes. Thank you. Very accurate.

Blab. Unsuspecting Helen writes:
Steve,
Nice to see that your kind UK reader thinks so much of you that he/she has purchased us that brand new condo in the AOL Time Warner building. Now, how will we furnish it?
Helen
My, this is so terribly awkward, isn't it? The truth is, we will be moving into this lovely new condo with our UK reader. Sorry that you had to find out this way. Really.

Blab. On the cat being out of the bag and and the genie being out the bottle, a reader writes:
based on my experience letting shaken-up cats out of bags, I'd say the two phrases mean roughly the same thing. Except the cat hurts more.
As we said.

Blab. A reader does not fear the Elder Gods.
I'm not afraid of the Elders appearing, because my 3-year-old daughter will save me. She has a plush Cthulhu, and as I passed her room the other day I heard: "No, Thul" (her pronunciation) "Taht's mean. You on time-out." And then Cthulhu got to sit in the corner to think about what he'd done.
She won't be afraid of them.
She will command them.
Iä! Iä! 3-year-old daughter fhtagn!

Blab. A reader thinks they know what we need.
What every geek needs!
And be sure to consult the FAQ.
Golly. We love this.
Take the guesswork out of bad breath detection and eliminate potentially embarrassing moments. BreathAlert is an innovative palm-size monitor that detects and measures the presence of annoying or embarrassing breath odors. Simply turn it on, breathe into the sensor, and a reading appears on the digital display.

Somehow, we expect that anyone who needs this will not be helped by it. You know?

Plurp. From our file of Unlikely Predictions From the Inbred comes this doozie.
"Bill Gates is going to be remembered more for what he did for international public health than what he did for the world of computers."
Did we mention that the speaker is a university d00d who deals with public health issues?

Plurp. Today, on the word mirror.
...
...

Plurp.
The blue dog
was the result of
Unlikely Predictions From the Inbred

Friday, July 11, 2003
Blab. A reader knows more than we do. (Don't they all?)
Exit pops and pop-unders, contrary to logical summation, have nothing to do with soda.
They're those annoying little windows that pop up when you load or exit a site.
Oh! We want some of those!

Blab. A reader riffs on the recent, controversial Helenism.
Pandora has been let out of her bottle
- Open Pandora's box
- Let the genie out of the bottle
We fear that the goose has laid the golden genie.

Blab. On our recent obsession with OneWord, a reader writes:
I found your 60 second burst on "crawl" a tad Ballardesque.
How very nice of you (we think)! Having read just a single page of Ballard's Concrete Island, though, we'd have to vote for him as the better writer. We console ourself with the fiction that he takes longer than sixty seconds to write a couple of sentences.

Blab. A reader suggests that the absurd is commonplace.
There was an old woman who swallowed a roach...
Go click on that link. (We'll entice you by telling you that it's an x-ray of a woman's torso, but it's not a roach that you see.) Then worry about humanity.

Blab. A reader wears it as a badge of honor.
I'm not Ian
Our most sincere congratulations.

Blab. A reader constructs ASCII sculptures. Opus one:
Blab.
Lab blab.
A lab blab.
A lab blab babbla.
Labl a lab blab babbla.
Labl a lab blab babbla albal.
Labl a babal lab blab babbla albal.
Abbala labl a babal lab blab babbla albal.
Abbala labl a babal lab blab al-balba babbla albal.
Abbala l'Bab labl a babal lab blab al-balba babbla albal.
And opus two:
Big blab box.
Big glib blab box.
Big glib blab box bill.
Big ball glib blab box bill.
Big glob ball glib blab box bill.
Big lax glob ball glib blab box bill.
Big lax glob ball glib blab box bog bill.
Bag big lax glob ball glib blab box bog bill.
Bag big lax glob ball boil glib blab box bog bill.
Bag big lax glob ball boil glib blab box bog bill X-box.
Bag gall big lax glob ball boil glib blab box bog bill X-box.
Bag gall big lax algal glob ball boil glib blab box bog bill X-box.
Bag gall big lax algal glob ball boil glib blab box bog bill X-box lox.
Bag gall big lax algal glob ball boil glib blab box bog bill X-box lox bagl.
Just don't say these out loud. They are Summoning spells.

Plurp. In a discussion at work today with a colleague, we were comparing the job of management (at least, around the Lab) with the act of that guy on the (now ancient) Ed Sullivan show, in which he spun plates on tall wooden rods. He'd get several spun up, then dash off to the side to get a couple more.

Once these were going, and the initial ones were spun up again (otherwise, they'd fall off), he'd dash off and get several more plates.
Repeat until all he's doing is keeping the existing plates spinning, running madly from rod to rod, spinning only the most desperately wobbling one before running to the next.
Then his Evil Sidekick throws in a couple more plates.
Anyhow! My colleague had heard my tired old metaphor several times before, and was lamenting that he was unable to find a picture of this ritual on the Web.
We figure he wasn't trying very hard.

Yo. Here's something really interesting.
More than a thousand unsuspecting Internet users around the world have recently had their computers hijacked by hackers, who computer security experts say are using them for pornographic Web sites.
The hijacked computers, which are chosen by the hackers apparently because they have high-speed connections to the Internet, are secretly loaded with software that makes them send explicit Web pages advertising pornographic sites and offer to sign visitors up as customers.
Unless the owner of the hijacked computer is technologically sophisticated, the activity is likely to go unnoticed. The program, which only briefly downloads the pornographic material to the usurped computer, is invisible to the computer's owner. [...]
The web of front machines hides the identity of the true server computer so "there's no individual computer to shut down," Mr. Smith said.
So! A fully distributed application that can find and use bunches of machines on the 'Net, and is capable of surviving the removal of a number of those machines. And, both providers and consumers of content are entirely anonymous.
That's probably not quite what the referenced system does, but imagine the possibilities anyway. Really.

Plurp. That 13-ton Lovecraftian blob that washed up on the coastline of Chile recently? Unnamed scientists say it's merely the carcass of a sperm whale.

When a sperm whale dies at sea, it rots until it becomes a "skeleton suspended in a semi-liquid mass within a bag of skin and blubber," the scientists said. Eventually, the skin tears and the bones sink while the skin and blubber float.
A likely story.

Yow.
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.

Plurp. Today, on the word stick.
Albert wondered what it was, that slight muckiness on the railing. He withdrew his hand and rubbed two fingers together carefully, grimacing. It was disgusting, whatever it was. He had no choice but to go directly back home and take a shower.

Plurp.
The blue dog
lived on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of
black seas of infinity

Thursday, July 10, 2003
Blab. Our polite reader continues to look out for us. We appreciate that.
Sir: Here is the lyrics to a song about supertasters. I have seen it performed live, and it is spectacular(esque).
Imagine! A song about us. Us! (Well, sort of.)
Can't drink coffee or beer (coffee or beer)
'Cause he's a Supertaster (Supertaster)
Loves ice cream and pie (ice cream and pie)
He is a Supertaster
It's simply thrilling.

Blab. A spammist writes:
Hello,
We've noticed your high positioning on various search engines, and we'd like to promote our program as an exit pop, or regular pop-under on your site.
Gosh, we are so flattered! And, if we only we knew what an exit pop or a regular pop-under was, no doubt we would be jumping at the chance to pay these folks money to be it, or do it, or something.
We wonder if these folks have any clue that they are completely incomprehensible.

Blab. A lawyer writes:
>- The cat is out of the bag
>- Open Pandora's box
I was going to raise a complaint here -- that these two phrases don't mean the same thing, and hence do not form a Helenism when combined.
However, then I checked with the authoritative reference page, and discovered that the constituent phrases "should usually be related in structure or meaning".
'should usually'! Imagine my surprise! This makes forming Helenisms much easier.
(Whilst I was there, I noted 'must be built of two', as opposed to 'two or more' -- apparently rendering the triple Helenisms invalid...
You know, the wonderful thing about having our own blog is that we can ignore tedious stuff like this. Or make fun of it, which is just as good.
But, in this case, we will say (though not justify) that those two phrases are quite obviously related. We leave it up to our (other) readers to explain this relationship to our lawyerly reader.
Use small words.

Blab. On a more positive note, a reader writes:
A Helenism I heard yesterday:
A pain in one's thorn
- A pain in one's neck
- A thorn in one's side
We think this accurately characterizes certain readers.

Blab. Worriedly, Ian writes:
snarkelflatz is one thing. I am seriously worried about the person(s) searching for 'Ian naked pictures' though.
You mean the people. There were quite a number.

Blab. Ian writes:
(From Metafilter -- requires Windows Media Player, but oh so funny!)
Readers are encouraged to click on that link. Ian's right - it's fantastically funny. And clever! (Think ping-pong meets bullet-time.)

Blab. A reader sends us a picture of someone familiar.

an old friend

Well, he is old (in the sense of not being entirely new), and he is a friend (in the sense that we met him one day and he didn't attack us brutally).
This guy owns a little restaurant somewhere in the Caribbean. Beneath it, in a sort of open-air cellar, is something he (and everyone else on the island) calls the shell museum. It consists of wooden benches he made, cluttered with piles of unpolished, uncatalogued local shells, interspersed with hand-lettered signs declaring various bits of the curator's wisdom about life, with all of this covered by a thick layer of dust.
Admission is free, though a donation is suggested.

Blab. A reader effuses:
I &hearts; Snarkelflatz!
And we're glad to hear it, Treasured Reader.

Blab. Despite all odds, entries to the enigmatic reader-sponsored contest continue to grace our email queue.
T4: You Sunk My Battleship!
Or: Bingo!

Blab. Or:
T4: Triclavianism
Not those guys again!

Blab. And, no doubt for The Making Of ...

Exclusive pics from the set of T4:
Happy Fun Love Explosion!

Blab. A reader has just joined the Liberian army.
US Army: Be All You Can Be
Liberian Army: Be Fabulous!
We would love to hear the story behind that. Really, we would.

Blab. A reader who is Helen releases our readers from their painful punishment.
Knowing that PLurp readers have been sitting on pins and needles awaiting our decision of London hotels, well, here it is. For the first part of the trip we will be at the Edward Lear. Unfortunately we were unable to book an ensuite room. Then we go to Winchester for Steve's conference and we have a nice hotel there in town. Returning for two more days in London, we will be at Sanctuary House Hotel between Westminster Abbey and St James' Park.
While Parkwood won the most votes here in and in a special mailing, they had nothing available for the entire period. Maybe we will have to plan further ahead next time, huh Steve?
Helen
We particularly like that we'll be staying in Sanctuary. We plan to limp around the hotel, shouting sanctuary in a distorted voice, while Helen runs along the corridors looking worriedly at her palm.

Blab. A fan of the Caribbean points us in the general direction of the ...
bvi beacon
What a gritty, seething place the Caribbean is!
[W]hen this newspaper tries to report on criminal activities, we are often stonewalled.
A magistrate repeatedly has denied this paper access to court records, stating that they are not public documents.
She may be adhering to the absolute letter of the law, but we have had no trouble getting such information from the High Court. In fact, the judge there has been extremely co-operative and helpful.
That makes me think that the magistrate is not being as helpful as she could be with the media.
Her response has been that we should attend court to get the information about criminal cases, which we routinely do.
But this newspaper does not have the staff to cover every court session. Criminal court is three times a week and sessions are held on both Tortola and Virgin Gorda.
One of those days is Wednesday, when we publish this newspaper. It is impossible to have a reporter cover court on those days.
Let's review. The law states that court records are not public documents. The reporter protests that he can't possibly keep up with the busy court schedule. Three times a week - imagine!
And, of course, he can't be out doing reporter things on Wednesdays. Must be setting type or something.
So the courts protect their friends, the newspaper has only one reporter, and life is just altogether too complex.
Must be nice.

Blab. We have disappointed a reader by methods unknown.
A little dissappointed that you didn't include my comment about "adult" crop circles. I was hoping that some industrious (i.e. drunk) reader would take the suggestion to heart and actually do it. It would certainly make interesting news....
"We think that the aliens were trying to write a personal ad...."
- Felis Lyn
Hmm. We don't remember that one. Maybe the aliens got to it before we did. That happens to us all the time.

Plurp. Those WMD that the "allies" went to war over? The ones they're surely going to find Any Day Now^TM? Well ...
Senior officials in Prime Minister Tony Blair's government say they no longer believe weapons of mass destruction will be uncovered in Iraq, British news organizations reported today.
Do you suppose they'll be any more careful the next time they invade a country? Yeah, call us Pollyanna.

Plurp. Tonight, on the word crawl.
It was all she could do, all she could do just to stay conscious, just to move at all, the pain having risen to psychotic levels, as cars whizzed by, uncaring.
Hey - we only had sixty seconds. You try!

Plurp.
The blue dog
figured that the
lawyerly reader never had a
cat

Wednesday, July 9, 2003
Blab. Our Treasured Readers seem to have taken an early off-ramp from the Freeway of Sanity in this week's reader-sponsored contest of indeterminate purpose.
T4: The Sixth and Last True Red Running Commando Hero Predator
We feel certain that that was a Babelfish translation from the original Russian. Of similar linguistic curiosity is this:
T4: Tetrahedral Terminators Testing Tautologies
Terrifically Tangy! Of likely Japanese extraction is this:
T4: Happy Fun Love Explosion!
Finally, at least for today, we have an entry that requires no explanation.
T4: The Spittle of Serpents in the Dreams of Tapestries Soiled by Blind Monks
Or, perhaps, has no explanation.

Blab. On the topic of salt as a Secret Ingredient for Iron Chef (and, like you, we completely forget how we got here), a reader suggests:
Salt might not be so farfetched...I remember seeing an actual Iron Chef episode in which, although salt was not the theme ingredient, the challenger was widely acknowledged as a master of salt, and had brought half a dozen different varieties of salt with him for use in various dishes.
You know it's serious when they bring their own salt.

Blab. A reader brings us a timely warning.
Beware of He Who Might Narc On Your Stash
Sniffer cats? The horror.

Blab. A reader wonders about ...
Druid Porn?
So it would seem!
Stonehenge is a massive fertility symbol, according to Canadian researchers who believe they have finally cracked the mystery of the ancient monument in southern England.
In the arrangement of the stones, the researchers say they have spotted the original design: female genitalia.
According to "Canadian" researchers.

Blab. A reader is curious about new technology. This always leads to madness.
"Wall-climbing robot to combat terror"
Why? is it afraid of heights?
No. Walls.
This prototype, developed through research by Canadian and American technicians, has the ability to run over rough terrain, and even swim.
"Canadian" technicians.

Blab. A reader donates to The Cause.
Pandora is out of her box
- The cat is out of the bag
- Open Pandora's box
Nice, and unusually complex!

Plurp. Our Top Ten search list this week again shows evidence of tampering.

snarkelflatz

imani

helen naked pitures

ian naked pictures

chihuly

quorn naked pictures

britney

naked pictures of helen

backstage

bryant

Good to see so much reader interest in snarkelflatz, though.

Plop.

Bush Blames Lack of Intelligence
for Faulty State of Union
Amazing how we don't have to give you a link, isn't it?

Plurp. So the AOLies are about to get blogs. Does that mean that blogging, as we know it, is (a) over, or (b) what?
And the answer is: They got email a while ago; did you stop sending email? (And would you, please, at least to us?)
We've thought for a while that the self-absorbed bloggery on topics like What is bloggery about? and What are the rules of blogging? and How should bloggers behave? is Just Plain Stoopid^TM. Blogging is a form of expression. Sometimes it's even a form a communication. Since when do those things have rules?
Anyhow, there will doubtless be lots of new AOLy blogs. Most of them will be trivial and stoopid. (We conclude this from detailed scientific studies of existing blogs, most which are trivial and stoopid.) Most of them will not be about DHTML, or hypertextual literature, or information design.
That's OK with us. We are in favor of freedom. We are in favor of diversity of expression. We are the champion of the trivial and stoopid.
All you Blog Fascists out there will just have to cope.
Sorry.

Plurp. Last night, on the word flare.
She pulled up on the stick. It was a desperate maneuver. The horizon disappeared and she heard the engine grind hard. What if it doesn't work?
And then, tonight, on the word film.
He squinted into the mirror. His teeth were completely disgusting. He couldn't even remember what he had done the previous night, after the brawl, after that woman - what was her name? - had whispered into his ear facts about himself that even he hadn't known.

Plurp.
The blue dog
concluded that
snarkelflatz
was "Canadian."

Tuesday, July 8, 2003
Blab. A reader emits this muffled cry from a burlap bag.
Ok, Steve, crawl into this burlap bag I found stuffed in the back corner or your side of the closet. There's a movie I want to see.
Helen
Having accompanied us to both T3 and Hulk this last weekend, how could we possibly refuse her?

Blab. This week's Abhorrent Plurp Contest compels you to name a Secret Ingredient which could be used in Iron Chef in principle, but not in practice. Our first entry is from an overachiever.
Manna
Ambrosia
Soma
Amrita
Cthulhu Eggs
We like ours sunny side up!
A second reader comes up with a distinct possibility that has the added value of actually existing.
Salt. Although, may not completely fit the rules, because my mom *has* managed to create several dishes (including a cake) in one meal with salt as the main ingredient (Can't recall how many; the only thing I can remember is an incredible whooshing sound in my ears for several days after), so it might not be impossible in practice.
Sounds like a lovely upbringing. And remember, you are what you eat.
Finally, a reader plays trump.
Abhorrent Plurp contest (aren't they all?)
Beets!!!
-AJL
Wow. That's going to be hard to, uh ...

Blab. Responses are rolling in to one of our few reader-sponsored contests, whose nature has yet to be determined.
T4: Remolded
We were unaware that it had previously developed mold. Must have happened over the shark tank.
T4: Total Explosion Recall
Nice meme mixing!

Blab. More keeping-up-with-trendiness!
Afghanistan: Muscleman Mecca
The world is a very strange place. (As if that's news to anyone reading this blog.)
Unlikely as it may sound, the Afghan capital is becoming a muscle-man's Mecca, with gyms sprouting across the city and featuring posters of scantily clad, oily-skinned strongmen.
We think that's great. It's a nice replacement for women in burkas and tight-faced torturers, eh?

Blab. A reader tells us the truth.
Re: "Carry your wife, win her weight in beer"
This was reecently a plot point on long-running
BBC Radio 4 agricultural soap 'The Archers'.
It's true!
{inw}
And now those funny Fins have made it real. Very strange.

Blab. A reader sends us photographic documentation of an unidentified victim being eaten alive by a nameless horror of unknown origin.

Plurp. Speaking of Nameless Horrors, an expedition just returned from dragging over a hundred previously unknown species from the stygian ocean depths off of Australia. A quick perusal of some of the Things they brought back leads us to conclude that Mr. Lovecraft's imagination was sorely lacking.

Yow. Speaking of alien life forms, it turns out that William Gibson really did write (or, more accurately, revise) an Alien III screenplay (which, sadly, was never produced).

Yo. A blurb on CNN yesterday led us to the notion of "supertasters".
Supertasters may experience an overall higher level of tasting ability than others, according to some evidence. For example, they have a greater number of the structures that often hold the taste buds (see illustration). In addition, supertasters appear to be more responsive to many bitter compounds, including those in coffee, grapefruit juice and green tea.
And:
[S]upertasters tend to like the foods they like very much, and to dislike the foods they dislike very much -- supertasters can talk about "hating" specific foods.
Which all sounds very much like our mysteriously strong (and very negative) reaction to bitter stuff.
Except that we like green tea, and we don't mind broccoli, both of which are on the list of things that supertasters are supposed to hate.
So we're still outside the mainstream, and we'll have to look for our super power elsewhere, darn it.

Plurp. We're confused. As usual.
Adobe Tries to Create Image of a Moneymaker
Isn't that traditionally done by, like, making money?
See? We told you we're confused.

Plurp. Yesterday, on the word microphone.
She found it hidden behind the panel of a light switch, in the kitchen. She had no idea how long it had been there, or who had put it there, or even if anyone was still listening. She felt her face flush as she tried to remember what conversations they might have overheard.

Plurp.
The blue dog
tried to create image
of a moneymaker

Monday, July 7, 2003
Blab. A spontaneous reader writes:
(I'm spontaneously making up my own Plurp contest...)
T4: Kindergarden Terminator
T4: Machine Rouge (a musical)
T4: Rise of the Cybornetic Hip Replacements
T4: The Gubernator
Excellent! Readers are invited to (a) guess what the contest is, and (b) enter it.

Blab. A reader whose copious free time permits a detailed study of toiletry writes:
The "squat down" link was an old mefi post. I thought it was going to be this one Nature's Platform, but it wasn't.
Ok, powers of two is geeky but fine. But I thought the "hint" that all you had to know was how the street numbering in Manhattan worked was misleading. Just had sushi in a very hot landlocked state in the midwest (KS). Still yummy, but I long for the NY sushi days.
We think of Plurp as a meta-MetaFilter, publishing only those MeFi topics that our readers deem worthy.
Sorry about that hint. We are struck by how differently our brain functions. Or doesn't, as the case may be.
But regardless, dear, landlocked, Treasured Reader, come home. All is forgiven. We'll keep the sushi on the stove for you.

Blab. On the (non-)uniqueness of 48 as having the maximum number of factors of numbers between 1 and 59, a reader writes:
"That restriction is necessary, though, isn't it?"
48 has 10 factors: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 12, 16, 24, 48.
32 has only 6 factors: 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32.
There we go, thinking differently from our readers. We were thinking of (non-unique) prime factors. Once again, it would have been easier if our brain worked like our readers' brains.
Could someone arrange for that to be true? Thanks.

Blab. The surveillance team turns the Orbital Mind Control Lasers on Helen, resulting in this.
Our host
It seems that the London hotel in which we will stay has been decided for us. No doubt the surveillance equipment was already in place there.

Blab. Keeping us up with trends in places we hardly ever go is the life's mission of this reader.
Japanese mobile educator. Now kids can learn to straddle the toilet and squat down even while watch sporting events.

Must be a labor surplus there.

Blab. A reader from a place that has no r's writes:
Unwitting pawns? Can't help but be reminded of this song title, Only (A Prawn In Whitby).
Never heard of it.

Blab. A reader looks in the mirror, only to find ...
PINK EYE!!!
We recommend a regimen of antibiotics and rest.

Blab. We finally goad one of our Treasured Readers into writing to us again.
You can't put her/him up every sunday. I cant waste lessons at school by looking at her for an hour.
Yours, the school kid
Think of it as iconic meditation.

Blab. A reader suggests another possibility.
Holy Cow! It's Damien's sister!
Is it? Was there a cow in that movie?

Plurp. That same burlap bag from Friday still fit Helen nicely on Sunday when we dragged her to Hulk. It turned out to be a pretty good movie. Ang Lee's art direction is quite wonderful, both visually captivating and interestingly inspired by cartoon art without copying it slavishly.
Having grown up taking comic books very seriously (they were our early moral education), we like movie adaptations that take themselves seriously. Unbreakable comes to mind, as does Spiderman. Conversely, we are offended by adaptations that play up the comic, such as most of the Batman movies (other than, maybe, the original). Ang Lee takes his subject matter seriously. Or, at least, as seriously as one can take a green giant that looks like Schwarzenegger on a bad hair day.
Jennifer Connelly is lovely as the love interest. But then, she has brown hair and blue eyes, so we're smitten before we even buy popcorn. Your mileage may vary.
The plot labors ponderously to make sense out of Stan Lee's complete misunderstanding of biology (Stan never studied), but the chasm between reality and Stan's Medieval pre-science is just too large to leap, even for the Hulk.
Which brings us to the Hulk itself. As much as we love ILM, we have to say that the state of the art is just not up to a synthetic main character who is supposed to look vaguely human. Faces are just too darned hard. Sorry.
So, yeah, a pretty good movie. An excellent introduction to a long series of future movies, which is the obvious intent. We're just not sure the yarn will support that much weight.

Plurp. Ladies, are you worth your weight in beer?

Plurp. How do we find this stuff? We amaze even ourself.

Carl Cthulhu

Carl likes bunnies. Carl likes daisies. Carl will consume every living soul on the planet. But right now, Carl just needs a hug. Six inch vinyl toy with flashing LED eyes.

Plurp. Cthulhu for Kids.
See Jane.
See Jane gibber.
Gibber, Jane, gibber.
Time for your meds, Jane.
See Dick.
See Dick run.
Run, Dick, run.
Ooh, not fast enough.

Plurp. The Orange Theory of Ideas. Redux.
Since September 11th, a surprising amount of evidence has been brought forward to suggest that the international terrorist Usama BinLaden is in fact a servant of the Great Old Ones. Many people have taken his supposed stance as an Islamic Fundamentalist at face value, and have been unable or unwilling to percieve the unwholesome mysteries which lie beyond.

Plurp. You know, most images of Cthulhu ... well, suck. Artists try desperately for representationalism, for squishing a trans-dimensional supreme being into a terrestrial organism. They draw tentacles, and eyes, and wings and claws, and so completely miss the essence of this horrifying idea.
Here, of the other hand, is a rare image that we think almost suits. (By John Coulthart, who has more Lovecraftia here.)

Yow. Why didn't we think of this? (Those of you expecting baby shower presents from us, please avert your eyes.)
Death Rattle
Baby skull rattle with a jangly cap - morbidly cute!

Plurp. Today's (extra credit) Abhorrent Plurp Contest compels you to name the secret ingredient for Iron Chef from which it would be possible in principle, but impossible in practice, to produce a five-course meal. (Recall that the secret ingredient is always edible (in some culture), and that each dish must incorporate the secret ingredient as a primary ingredient.)
So that you are not completely adrift, we suggest several inferior possibilities.

Twinkies

Tree Frogs

Banana Slugs

Clearly, you can do better. Good luck.

Plop. We despair for the future of industrial research. On Saturday night, during some program on the Food Channel, we heard references to the Hungry Man Research Lab and Glad Storage research scientists.

Plop. We would not have believed, a scant two years ago, that leadership in freedom and civil liberties would be coming from China rather than our own now-cowered country.
In a surprise reversal, Hong Kong's leader agreed early Monday to delay an anti-subversion bill that sparked giant street protests and threw his government into its biggest crisis in six years. [...]
The decision reflected Tung's tenuous position after half a million Hong Kong residents protested on Tuesday against the bill, saying it would threaten the territory's freedoms of speech, press and assembly.
Good for them. Shame on us.

Plurp. Helen's personal barometer has only two readings: Fair and Unfair. Almost all of last week, and almost all of this week, it reads Unfair. The outside world is heavily hot. We skitter along the shady side of the streets, making up excuses to go into this air conditioned shop or that, wondering why we went out in the first place.

Plurp. Last night, from Helen's own fingertips.
As thin as a feather

As thin as a rail

As light as a feather

Aren't they wonderful?

Plurp. Yesterday, on the word headlight.
She found it on the road, near the curve, along with a blue, scraped panel of sheet metal, lined with chrome. She picked it up and looked at it, wondering.

Plurp.
The blue dog
wanted Carl's
phone number

Sunday, July 6, 2003
Plurp.

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