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2002.09.22 : 2002.09.28
Saturday, September 28, 2002
Blab. A reader takes off his bowler and screams:
Suck
it down, you jack-booter thugs!
Well lookee there. Capitalism Magazine, an unabashedly Randroid
site featuring some enormous number of unsorted, short articles every month.
The wave of nostalgia almost overwhelms us.
Still, it's nice to see a few people saying that freedom and human rights
are a good idea.
Blab. A reader attempts to mock the Atlantic Monthly article
we cited yesterday by substituting Axis for Iraq in one paragraph.
Going to war with the Axis
would mean shouldering all the responsibilities of an occupying power the
moment victory was achieved. These would include running the economy, keeping
domestic peace, and protecting their borders - and doing it all for years,
or perhaps decades. Are we ready for this long-term relationship?
And if that were the only paragraph in the article, it would be just that
easy to mock. The other paragraphs in the article, however, go on to analyze
the differences between WW II and the upcoming war with Iraq, such as the
lack of international support and the thought that Iraq doesn't seem to
be invading anyone at the moment.
We're not agreeing with the article. We're just suggesting that it is
a thoughtful analysis.
Blab. A reader sends us one blind link for each eye.
[link]
[link]
So this is a newish site called Gnod
(the Global Network Of Dreams), which apparently tries to use social
information filtering to tell you what music, books, etc., you might like.
One modestly clever feature is a visual
map of things that are closely related to the things you like.
Still, the site owner should learn how to spell.
Blab. An AOL reader claims that we must have seen it recently.
I just randomly fell onto
your sight, looking for a symbol that meant random, and I am so amused!
I really just wanted to tell you that.
;)
That's us. The Meaning of Random Since the Turn of the Century.
Plurp. From a fortune cookie last night:
Your fastidious nature has
much more fun this year!
After, no doubt, being liberated from our body and taking residence in
the body of someone who cares about such things.
Plurp. There are several things that we have always wished we
could do.
-
Compose music that brings tears to the eye.
-
Draw, or perhaps paint, so as to capture something essential, something
that no one had not seen before, or had not seen in quite that way.
-
Write. Write a story that people read, over and over again, simply to feel
the words caress their minds.
-
Be beautiful.
But we cannot.
Yow. TalibanReunited.com.
A+ for concept! (Jen)
Plurp. Raise your hand if you care about Barbra
Streisand's opinion on a war against Iraq. Anyone? Anyone? Don't
be shy.
Plurp. A Darwin
Awards near miss.
Northeastern Indiana police
say a 24-year-old man is lucky to be alive after being compacted inside
a garbage truck.
Chad Dillon was rescued yesterday
after witnesses heard him screaming from within the back of the Waste Management
truck as its driver picked up trash at the DeKalb County Fairgrounds.
Police say the truck compacted Dillon
into loads of trash not once, but twice. He was released yesterday afternoon
from a Fort Wayne Hospital after being treated for head, chest and arm
injuries.
Auburn Police Chief Martin McCoy says
Dillon apparently fell asleep in a trash bin somewhere in the downtown
Auburn area, where a fall festival was held this week.
He says Dillon had been out drinking
Thursday night at an Auburn bar.
We suspect Dillon will have another opportunity in the near future.
Plurp. A question for you. When you wake up in the middle of
the night and can't go back to sleep, is it always the case that words
are going through your mind? Or is it sometimes wordless in there but you
still can't go back to sleep? And yes, we
really do want to know.
Rant. Oh, and a thought for our friends in the former Soviet
Union. Would you mind terribly not selling huge amounts of weapons grade
uranium to, well, pretty much anybody? 'Cause we don't think it's such
a great idea for 33
pounds of this vile stuff to be found in Turkey, likely on its way
through Syria to Iraq, a mere 155 miles away.
If it's not too much trouble? Thanks very.
 Plurp.
The blue dog
was once caught trying to
smuggle Barbra Streisand
and a turkey
into Iraq
Friday, September 27, 2002
Blab. A tardy reader mixes the memes in what appears
to be a currently popular manner.
The Making of a Mastermind,
chapter seven: the young Osama gets a summer job coaching girls' gymnastics.
(He was fired after his insistence that the girls begin doing their routines
in full burkha ended in disaster.)
See: the Orange Theory of Ideas.
Blab. A reader suggests a certain, rarefied kind of bum
fight.
Michael
Jordan vs. Bill Gates
We don't know if it's true, but here's a little known fact.
Michael Jordan having "retired,"
with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.
[...]
If Jordan saves 100 percent of his
income for the next 500 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has
at this very moment.
Game over. Nerd wins.
Blab. On our sage recommendation to initiate unilateral aggression
against Switzerland for that blue dog thing, our Swiss reader threatens
us with terrorist reprisals.
No, you can't do that. Switzerland
is now a member of the UN and you will need a resolution. Also, we are
armed. (Ok, the swiss citizens are, with swiss made military bicycles no
less.) Also remember: OUR AIR-TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS RULE CENTRAL EUROPEAN
AIR-SPACE. BEWARE!
Too late. We understand that Special Forces troops are already eating chocolate.
Blab. A reader who wishes to remain anonymous tells us about
...
the first
traffic light in the British Virgin Islands.
It's like the Mayberry of the Caribbean, isn't it?
Blab. A reader wishes us to make a public spectacle of ...
Jackie
Bibby
Where, other than Plurp that is, can you get a link to a pictures
of this?
The most live Rattlesnakes
held in the mouth by their tails is eight by Jackie Bibby (USA) for 12.5
seconds without any assistance.
Nowhere. We hope.
Blab. A reader uses the fine offices of Plurp for its
own nefarious purposes.
[Surrogate blogging]
Life played a cruel, cruel prank on
me this morning.
I awoke to my alarm, and the first
thought that entered my mind was, "Why is my alarm going off on a Saturday?"
Now, there are many possible answers
to this question. Perhaps I had set my alarm by mistake. Perhaps
there was something I needed to be up for this particular Saturday.
Being in that just-awoke-and-not-yet-thinking-clearly mode, this was not
trivial to puzzle out.
But the answer which I finally settled
on was one that chilled me to the very core of my soul. Very rarely
have I had such a moment of clear terror before. It's like the scene
in the movies where the hero realizes that the one person he trusted completely
is actually part of the conspiracy against him, except about a hundred
times worse.
The answer I was forced to accept
was this: It wasn't Saturday.
For those of you who have never had
the experience, let me just say that there is no better way to ruin an
otherwise good Friday than to awake thinking it's Saturday.
We tend to have that same experience, but on Mondays.
Blab. A reader suggests that we ...
Watch out for this
guy.
And it seems like good advice.
The nice thing about having
a cheap boat is that you don't worry too much about running into things,
like other boats, since the most damage you can do to your own vessel is
knock a few barnacles off.
And the nice thing about hitting boats
in foreign waters is that it will be much harder to sue us for damages.
At least that is what I am hoping.
We've decided to restrict our sailing activities to the bathtub.
Blab. A reader whom we accuse of being that same reader writes:
Yar!
The British Virgin Islands is an exciting place.
When Glaston Smith was busted
last year illegally cutting down mangroves, he probably never thought he'd
have a machete shot out of his hand.
We've actually never heard of that happening to Glaston Smith before.
Plurp. Most popular search request this past week on Plurp's
very
own search facility?
quorn
naked pictures
It's 30x more popular than the second most popular search. You perverts!
Plop. We love the
South.
The board of Georgia's second-largest
school district voted Thursday night to give teachers permission to introduce
students to varying views about the shape of the Earth, including flat
Earth theories, and the nature of procreation, including spontaneous generation.
Yo. A very
interesting and thoughtful article in The Atlantic Monthly describes
the likely post-war implications of invading Iraq. It would please us to
think that Dubya and his good ol' boys are actually thinking about this.
It would. (fimoculous)
 Plurp.
This morning, as we dressed for work, Him Whose Name Is Found In Barfed
Up Flowers sauntered into the bedroom and eyed the bed, carefully calculating
the oomph required to jump softly onto it. Curiously, in executing the
jump, he neglected to consider the implication of the bedside table drawer
being open, so he crashed headlong into the underside of the drawer, making
an enormous racket before he hit the floor, dashed into the living room
and cowered under the coffee table for several hours.
Fortunately, it was only his head.
Plop. A disturbing thing happened today. We started eating our
Ritual Friday Lunch at work (spaghetti, meatballs and broccoli - we eat
this same meal every Friday). We noticed that the food looked odd today:
grainy, less appealing, somehow foreign.
Then we realized why. We had our glasses on, which we never do at lunch.
Removing our glasses, the Ritual Friday Lunch assumed its traditional appearance:
soft, appealing, comforting.
[Note to self: Do not wear glasses in very familiar situations
in which we have not worn glasses in the past. Too scary.]
Plurp. Speaking of grainy, less appealing and foreign, we need
only go as far as Pennsylvania.
 Hardy
stomached men from around the country will scarf sheep's entrails for a
chance to be named "haggis king."
The haggis eating contest Friday is
part of Bethlehem's Celtic Classic Festival. The winner will be the first
to
finish a pound and a half of the Scottish dish, a mix of sheep's organs,
oats and spices.
Yow. Now this
is a good use of Internet technology. (rebecca)
from: The United
States
location: Bagdad
when: Thursday, November
14, 3:30pm
Hello World Leaders! Come join us,
The United States, as we wage war on Iraq, November 14th in Bagdad! It
should be a good time: CNN is coming, and we have some really cool new
missiles and stuff. Saddam is totally evil, so you're not going to want
to miss this!!!!
Plurp.
The blue dog
could hardly wait to
scarf sheep's entrails
Thursday, September 26, 2002
Blab. Our most recent Enigmatic Image has, again, and
for reasons incomprehensible to us, stimulated a certain frantic response
from the dangerous and asocial individuals who spend their day obsessing
on us.
They start as merely obscurely blasphemous.
"It's okay girls. I'm not
Catholic. Really!"
After that, readers get so ... so ... well, excited, that they cannot
restrain themselves.
After the Second Comming,
the Elders became quite alarmed at the amount of time the Lord was spending
in the presence of scantily clad young girls. Apparently it hadn't been
a problem in the place and time he had last incarnated in.
AND
Ann:(RED) "You reckon this nerd is
JC? My guess is that at least he's a member of the Taleban"
Cindy:(BLUE & GREEN) "Who cares
who or what what he is, you want to see what his hands do when you kiss
him on the ear!"
That's simply outrageous. Our meme mixer calms things down, if only briefly.
"Psst! Hey Jesus... you have
visible panty lines."
Then, from the Trivialist school, a sophomore writes:
Little known fact: Jesus
rose Lazarus from the dead by dancing on his coffin with pixies.
Thank you, Martha and John. As if that were not enough, a substitutional
poet with a surplus of forward slashes writes:
Oh I don't believe in sorrow
/
Or a poodle named Tomorrow /
But I guess the boss is weighing
Eskimos. /
In my own mind I have an awful lots
of toes /
And when it snows /
I blow my nose.
Quite.
Next, our readers indicate that we have somehow miscalibrated the motivators
on the mind control lasers:
Strange urge felt to relate
image to priests ... children ... priest .. arrrgh .. must resist.
-AJL
And:
ummm, several dozen comments
related to priests and children come to mind but, really, none of them
will pass the censors. which, given my track record, says a lot....
dorian
We shall attend to this forthwith.
Finally (at least today), we reveal the current winner, based on immensely
creative image reinterpretation (ICIR):
"Ta da!" said Jesus as he
created some ballerinas ex nihilo.
See? That's really funny!
Blab. That ancient reader from yesterday reveals its internal
mental struggles.
hippie. i did debate with
myself over the spelling
Ah, youth. You should have checked the ultimate authority:
Google.
Blab. Frank Lester, a man of many talents, writes:
Subj: NOTICE: Unauthorized
use of copyrighted material
We have found that a page in your
site (http://www.stevewhite.org/log/archive/20010923.htm) includes an image
from Innovative Educators, Inc. The image (http://www.innovative-educators.com/images/a468.jpeg)
is a picture of Multicultural Crayola Crayons. Our records do indicate
that you have received our permission to use this image based on our servers.
Please remove the image from your site immediately as this is using our
corporate resouces (i.e. bandwith) for which we are not being compensated.
Frank
Lester
Phone: (478) 472-4679
Let's review. Their records indicate that we have received their
permission to use this image based on their servers (whatever that might
mean). As a result, they want us to remove the image [sic] from
our site immediately as this is using their corporate resouces [sic]
(i.e. bandwith [sic]) for which they are not being compensated.
Sad, isn't it? And we feel so bad for Frank and his Multicultural Crayola
Crayons that we have removed all trace of them from our year-old archives.
We are nothing if not helpful, responsive, and eager to banish Frank to
his well deserved obscurity.
Blab. A reader reveals its unfamiliarity with, well, pretty much
everything.
Blind Link:
Then ...
Try again.
Then ...
Try again.
Then ...
Ok, third time is a charm.
Blind Link:
http://www.reason.com/0210/artifact.shtml
Now, that seems like four times to us, but perhaps we flunked Counting
in kindergarten. And it's hard for us to understand it as a blind link
when there is accompanying textual context. But whatever!
This is a link to good old Reason magazine, for which our college
roomie Bill Birmingham wrote the scathing humor column Brickbats
for many months before disappearing from society altogether.
It suggests that a DARPA agency "charged with developing intelligence
tools and integrating the government's existing surveillance networks"
might have picked a logo that is way too Big Brotherish for normal
people.
Fortunately, normal people are blind.
Blab. A hateful reader writes:
OHHHHHHhhhhhhhh...... Blue
dog is missing again! I HATE that!
Blame that evil Swiss reader. We recommend unilateral aggression. It's
all the rage.
Blab. A Treasured Reader, a particularly observant student of
recent events, writes:
Wired has an article on the
fired scientist over at Lucent. You know, the guy who faked his results.
There's an editor's note before the article:
(Editor's note: This story originally
was credited as being written by Michelle Delio. In fact, the Associated
Press contributed a significant portion of the reporting. Ms. Delio added
her own, independently researched material and composed the following report,
which now does not carry her byline).
The full article is here.
Now that's funny!
Blab. A reader is the bearer of bad tidings.
The Enron crooked E sold
for $44,000.
 Foo!
We had our little heart set on the crooked E as a coffee table,
too. We raised our bid to $43,999, but we were beat
out at the last moment by that creep from Microcache, a dippy three-store
Houston computer retail and repair chain.
We hope they choke on it. Though we're not quite sure how that might
happen.
Plurp. Will you stand in line for a movie that's entirely in
Latin and Aramaic? Mel
thinks you will. And they say that drug use is declining! (rebecca)
Plurp. And a big hello to all of our friends at the Virus
Bulletin conference in New Orleans.
The conference kicks off
with a welcome drinks reception onboard the Creole Queen Paddlewheeler
and a lively, fun-filled evening is guaranteed at our fabulous gala dinner
and cabaret on Thursday, September 26.
Nice
day if it don't rain.
Plurp. The failure
of public education.
The government initially
said two classified documents were in Moussaoui's possession, then acknowledged
there were seven before finally determining there were 48. [...]
"Despite their hard work and valiant
effort, the Marshal's Service could not find two of the seven documents.
Unfortunately, one of the remaining two documents is the most critical
of the seven."
Or 197. Or 3,642,973. Counting is so ... so ... complicated.
Wednesday, September 25, 2002
Blab. A tardy reader submits a belated title to the
first in a series of Enigmatic Images.
easy: All Saints
vs The Angels
Actually, it is an Al Queda enclave
Make up your mind!
At the same time, a reader is somehow old enough to have known Jesus
personally but not old enough to have learned English grammar or lived
through the 60s. That would be the 1960s.
Jesus was a hippy, peace
and love was all he was about
Actually, that's hippie. And we always wondered how to resolve that
alleged pacificity with the Old Testament fire and brimstone.
Blab. Maybe it's the drugs. But, for whatever reason, our readers
are telling us about wonderful, plurpable stuff that we already told them
about.
Cthuugle!
Yes.
Thou art already dead. Stabbed
with a white wench's black eye, run through the ear with a love song, the
very pin of thy heart cleft with the
blind bow-boy's butt shaft.
Quite. We are so pleased that you and we appreciate the same things. Really
we are.
Blab. Mrs.
Anne Kojo (who must be related to Mrs.
Abamari Koromah) has an amazingly profitable business venture for us!
Dear Sir,
With due respect and humility I write
you this letter which I believe you would be of great assistance to my
children and I.
[... etc. etc. ...]
Note: There is no risk involved in
this business.
Remain Blessed,
MRS. ANNE KOJO
We were all set to embezzle tens of thousands of dollars from our employer,
who we're sure wouldn't mind, to enable us to get zillions and zillions
of dollars from Mrs. Anne Kojo.
Then we remembered that article we plurped yesterday about scams and
we got all suspicious and stuff. We feel guilty about it, as it seems unlikely
that Mrs. Anne Kojo is anything but sincere and in need of our unique assistance.
We can only hope that her second choice will be less paranoid.
Blab. Our Swiss reader warns us of a mysterious disappearance.
Der blaue Hund cannot be
found
Funny. He was here just a second ago.
Plurp. We received so many gratifyingly odd entries in our recent
Plurp
contest which, you might recall, involved you explaining to us the meaning
of an Enigmatic Image, that the chips in our head told us we had to do
it again.
So here it is, the second in a series of Enigmatic Images.
Your role in this is to explain
the meaning or implication of said image. See, we only do what the
chips make us do. You have free will. You do. No, really.
Yak.
Do you know anything about
Fred Smith?
Fred? Yeah. He's ... he's ... sub-optimal.
Plurp. Insight O' The Day:
To create order from chaos,
you must first create chaos.
Tuesday, September 24, 2002
Blab. Yesterday's Enigmatic Image seems to have roused
several readers to some form of consciousness. It may have sent other readers
into fugue states. We're not sure.
We received several missives that are clearly intended to be explanations
for this cryptic scene. We also received several that might be, but then
again might not be. We think you'll see what we mean as we go along.
To make it easy on you, we'll start with an entry from the Angry Literalist
school.
Jesus said "Suffer the little
children to kick their ball into my backyard again and see what unilateralism
really means" -AJL
Yeah! Yeah!
Along similar lines, a reader tells this parable.
"You see, children, heaven
is like this basketball. The Lord holds it up just above your head,
unless, well, you know."
Taking the Literalist school to its logical extreme, a reader demonstrates
the cutting power of Documentary Literalism.
"Many customers have requested
these Jesus Sport Statues depicting children other than Caucasian and playing
other sports"
And who are we to doubt that? Next, a reader from the Angry Parablist school
tells this old saw.
Jesus, annoyed at Santa Claus
getting all the attention on His birthday, decided to steal the Christmas
presents that Santa delivered... "Yoink! I'll take that," He said as He
suddenly appeared and grabbed the basketball that little Timmy and Tina
had just unwrapped and were playing with that Christmas morning. "Shouldn't
you ingrates be in Church?" He said before ascending into Heaven with the
stolen ball.
It's an oldie but a goodie. And on that theme, we present this mixing of
the memes.
You must be this tall to
be saved.
Good one! Sadly, we now start to wander off the path of good mental health,
so do hang on as a reader who is either a Tautological Literalist or a
Surprised Surrealist offers this.
One of these things is not
like the others?
It's the presence of that question mark that worries us. Even more worrisome
is this sports-equipment-related entry.
And Jesus said: "I will Suffer
not even the little children to play with My Balls"
And that pretty much runs us out of sane readers (and that's judging it
liberally). Mind you, seven sane readers is easily more than we expected,
so we're not complaining. Next in line is one of our many surrealist poets
with a particularly disturbing caption ("caption").
Oh I don't believe Darjeeling
/ Or the faces on the ceiling.
Then, suggesting a horrifying possibility that had escaped even our
twisted notice, a reader picks up a hymnal and sings:
Cthulhu loves the little
children,
all the children of the world.
Boiled, basted, poached, or fried,
as a main dish or a side,
Cthulhu loves the little children
of the world.
Finally, we ... well, perhaps we should just let our reader speak for itself.
Into each generation a Slayer
is born. One girl in all the world, a Chosen One. One born with the strength
and skill to fight the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil and the
swell of their numbers.
The mind boggles.
Blab. A reader generates its own activity.
Plurp Pop Quiz
Compare and contrast the following:
Bush Administration's National
Security Strategy
vs.
Principles of the Just War (See this,
that
or the other)
Please hand your papers in when you
are done.
It is a dandy exercise, to which we invite our readers to respond
creatively.
Blab. The prodigal Ian
returns with this.
 419
scams reach a
new level of success. And, linked from there, this.
I have always gone through life assuming
that almost everyone is an idiot, but this beggars belief even for me!
inw
Oh, go read those links! Then tell
us how stupid people have to be to do that. Really.
Blab. A reader is intentionally left blank.
From the "Things that make
you go Hmmmm... category":
Those pages in user manuals that say
"This page intentionally left blank".
Think about it for a minute.
We have been lied to.
Wait just a little minute. You mean you can actually read that inscription
in your manuals? We shall have to speak sternly to those incompetent printers
who are using visible ink again.
Blab. A reader stands on its head and screams like a chicken.
[link]
Another victory for the mind control lasers.
Blab. A reader answers one of those thorny questions from yesterday.
If Barcelona was close to
Sicily we'd call it Naples instead.
Actually, we usually do call it Naples.
Blab. A reader concatenates several unrelated nouns.
Re: the Black Hole of Reader
Conceit.
Enjoy the liver-pecking!
Thanks very!
Blab. A Mr. Richard Feder of Ft. Lee, New Jersey, writes:
I must disagree on your interpretation
of the "ur gay" comment. Clearly, the reader is notifying you of
the new name Uruguay will have, after it donates its excess u's to Bosnia
as part of the international relief effort.
Sort of like North Dakota losing
that North part, eh? Very clever. (And we do like that vowel
thing.)
Blab. Another reader minstrel wanders by.
If I had a Plurp,
I'd Plurp in the morning,
I'd Plurp in the evening,
All over this land.
It's curious because, well, that's exactly what we do.
Blab. A reader adds to our Xmas list.
The
perfect gift. Be sure to include fireplace ash.
dorian
Let's review.
You are bidding on a macabre,
antique-looking ceramic jar with a cork stopper, humorously inscribed:
"Ashes of Old Lovers". The glaze is moss green, and the height is 6 inches;
diameter at the base is 4 inches. I guess it would hold about a pint. I
had some potpourri in it for a while.
The jar is empty now. Really.
Really? What if you had an old lover who weighed in at over a pint? Should
you buy several of these and duct tape them together?
Yow. Looks like LOTR:TTT
might be pretty good! December 18.
Yow. Here's the real Miss Universe contest: the ten most
beautiful scientific
experiments. In bathing suits.
Plop.
This
is Carol. This is the SUV that Carol bought. This is the gas station
attendant who sold the gas to power the SUV that Carol bought.  This
is the CEO who refined the oil into the gas that the attendant sold to
Carol to power the SUV. This is the tanker captain who carried the oil
from Iraq to the refinery that the CEO used to refine the gas that Carol
bought. And this is the family that was killed with nerve gas for getting
in the way.
Responsibility's a bitch, isn't it?
The global economy supports terrible
things. If you buy anything at all, you
might too.
Plurp.
The blue dog
once worked for
an ad agency
Monday, September 23, 2002
Blab. Sometimes, we try to point our readers in productive
directions. This has yet to be successful.
“Speaking of which, go read
the full text of Dubya's national security strategy document.”
Yeah, OK, whatever. It was too long
for us to follow.
Given the demographics of our readership, this is, perhaps, not surprising.
Nevertheless, it's a shame, as the
document is really important.
The document's vision is that freedom, democracy and free markets have
emerged as the winning organizational paradigms for society, and commits
the U.S. to fostering them. It's very well written and well argued. It
almost seems like a starry-eyed libertoonian vision of freedom taking root
all over the world. Until you get to the part about the use of military
force and first strikes to help those roots get planted.
The vision is really one of the U.S. as the single, dominant, enduring
superpower, of preventing any other country from matching the U.S.'s military
dominance, of creating powerful states all over the world to control local
folks ("terrorists") that don't like the U.S., of acting unilaterally whenever
multilateral organizations (like the U.N.) don't go along with the U.S.'s
direction.
Now, this might be a perfectly dandy strategy (if you're the U.S.).
Or it might be a disaster, giving other countries the moral standing to
crush
their neighbors to further their own interests.
As usual, we're not smart enough to know.
Blab. A few more readers decipher the mystery of our Wacky
Plurp Image Reader Caption Contest.
The Illuminati's pyramidal
rays will either bleach your hair or drive you mad, but not both. They
are still working on that.
What a lovely and ambitious entry, which works hard to integrate the entire
piece in one explanatory framework. We're concerned, however, about that
little blonde kid.
Anyhow!
Who says we saw what last
we saw when last we saw each other?
Not us, certainly. Heck, we don't even understand the question. And, finally
...
The eye in the pyramid sees
you... and you...and you. And it thinks you're all dorks!
A bit on the generic side, but it does satisfy the requirements (i.e. it
was submitted).
Blab. Tossing and fretting during the night, a reader has the
following, troubled thought.
Could the green Chinese liquid
be some sort of vat-grown, fungus-based green-tea substitute?
That's one possibility
Blab. Another possibility is this.
 In
1960 Bennett Cerf bet Geisel (Seuss)
$50 that he couldn't write an entire book using only fifty words. The result
was Green Eggs and Ham. Bennett Cerf never paid the $50, btw...
We checked with Bennett. He says he did. Some mixup at the bank, no doubt.
Which 50 words did Seusse
use for Green Eggs & Ham? Can anybody name them?
No. The words are a secret that Theodore Geisel took to the grave.
 Blab.
Reading an old issue of Plurp, a reader
feels compelled to mention ...
ur gay
Our erudite reader is, no doubt, referring to the general tenor of happiness
that existed three billion years ago on the
very first continent to emerge on this planet.
Blab. A resourceful reader discovers yet another of our little
hobbies with this entirely blind ...
[link].
Yes, we are a defensive end for (recently, mind you) the NY Jets. It's
one of those "sports teams".
You gotta problem wit dat?
Blab. A reader tells us all about its cat.
 Yes
Steve the Cat gets my fingers, morning and night while its owner is away
and I call in to feed it. And sometimes it gets my fingers when powered
by stupidity or pity or because my mind is gone and I like the cat anyway,
I call in to pat or scritch it during the day. It bites people because
it LIKES them! Recently I've taken to wearing Kevlar bicycle
gloves and escaping while it tries to work out why the teeth aren't sinking
in, but its realized that the gloves don't cover the wrists and I'm in
trouble again.
Isn't that sweet? Everyone should have a cat. And Kevlar gloves.
Blab. Our Jamaican correspondent checks in with a large number
of questions.
Why you change enron logo
to other thing? Why you plurp so late? Why Barcelona so far from Sicilly?
Why? Why not. -AJL
We encourage our Treasured Readers to answer
these, and other, questions.
Blab. Our English correspondent answers one of those questions.
Us English plurp in the morning
As long as you're regular.
Yak.
She's right in the heart
in the action. Blocking the left ventricle of the heart of the action,
in fact.
Plurp. Having generated so little reader response with our previous
image caption contest, what do we do? That's right, having learned nothing
in the process, we try again.
Readers are hereby required to
submit an illuminating explication of this enigmatic image. Now come
on, get over your innate shyness, and tell
us what it all means.
Plurp.
The blue dog
plurped in the
morning
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